1.
How the heck is James Bond so flippin' sweet? When I grow up, can I be as awesome as James Bond?
- "Pig" Whitley
If I have to explain to you why James Bond is so flippin' sweet, you will never be as awesome as James Bond.
James Bond's awesomeness is certainly enduring, judging by his long run in various medias, including movies and video games. But what makes him so special? The guns? Gadgets? Action? Women? International intrigue? No. As Batman would tell you, chicks dig the car.
2.
Does Nils know that he promised your newest edition "later this week" and that it is now, in fact, "later this week"? in fact, he's
only got a few more hours in which to fulfill his promise. How can you stand working with such an amatuer????
- Pete
Nils did in fact promise a new edition of Ask The Wire Ball "later this week" on Monday, and since today is Saturday, he is still within the week. So although this update may be later than you wanted, he did meet his deadline.
3.
Dear Wire Ball, When will I meet a millionaire to marry so I can quit my crappy job and become a lady who lunches??
Are you a millionaire? If so, what are your plans for the rest of your life?
- Meg
Meg, money will never make you happy. Money would not mean freedom for you, it would only mean more responsibility. I am not a millionaire, in fact I don't have any money at all. Not that I need it, but Nils is not paying me for this gig.
4.
Why am I attracted to you? Pika Pika.
- Pikachu
Much like your famed pokeball, I too am round.
5.
When is Nils going to get an X-Box 360 and a copy of Gears of War so he can play online co-operatively with his sexy cousin John?
- Master Chief Petty Officer Spartan 117
I am sure Nils would love to play Gears of War online with his cousin John, but he just got a Wii so he will not be buying an Xbox 360 anytime soon.
6.
What's the minimum amount of questions you need to publish a section of "Ask the Wire Ball?"
- Who wants to know?
While the initial editions of Ask The Wire Ball sometimes had a mere three questions, Nils requires that I receive at least ten questions to publish a new column.
7.
In a recent McDonald's radio commercial advertising a "buy one get one free burger" offer they say that, "Never before have so many
gotten so much for so little." Is that really true? I'm curious.
- Kevin DuBrow
Normally such advertising is meant to be an exaggeration of the actual product, so be careful when you hear ads that say, "You can't live without it". Or "You too can become beautiful". But in this case I can assure you that, yes, never before have so many gotten so much for so little.
8.
I heard a commerical on the radio yesterday where the tagline was, "Because When You Have a Puppy, Nothing Else Matters." Is that
true? I'm torn because I think there might be other things that are important too but I don't think they would put false advertising on the radio. Please help!
- Kevin DuBrow
Kevin, please be advised that some advertising slogans on the radio may not be entirely true. As I stated in the previous answer, some advertising is exaggerated to convince people to buy things. A puppy might solve all of your problems, but they may also pee on your carpet, so consider buying a puppy carefully before you take on such a responsibility.
9.
Do your chain hang low, does it reach down to the flo'? Does it shine in the light? Is it platinum, is it gold?
Well?
- Meg and John and Ludacris
I do not have any "bling bling" or any other jewelry as I am already made of metal and very shiny.
10.
Why did you take down those funny Walgreens ads that Nils made??? I'm so mad, that I'm going to bake a cake reading
"Congratulations on Your Teen Pregnancy" Take THAT, Wire Ball!!!
- The Gumball
Nils is adding that to his list of things to bring back from the old site. If it makes you feel any better, here's one of the pictures from said feature:
