1.
I have an etiquette question for you. Let's say you received $80 worth of free tickets to an event, and during said event, you spent over three hours sitting next to the people who were responsible for you receiving said free tickets. What is the proper response in this situation?
Three hours of stony silence? Immediate fleeage at the exact moment of conclusion of said event? Or would a swift kick to the groin and a rude gesture suffice?
Gratefully yours,
- Slowey and Neshek Myers
The party who received the free tickets should not have acknowledged the people they received the tickets from during the event or after it.
The people who gave the free tickets to the other person should get the most objectionable person available to take their place during said event, in order to preclude the rude behavior from the people who could have potentially ignored them.
2.
What do you find more attractive: Princess Leia, or her iron bikini?
- Salacious C.
I would prefer the metal bikini, but why not have both?
3.
Order 95...I know I know, again with the Order 95 question...Is this the only question I can come up with? Maybe so, but still...
- Jodo
Good news! Now that the writers' strike is over, production has already started up again on Order 95. The writers will finish the script as soon as they can and then the comic will resume.
4.
Why does Nibcrom freeze up when he hears German? Nils the big tease still has not revealed to us the answer, and I am, quite frankly, very concerned and upset. For Nibcrom's welfare of course.
Love,
- A Curious and Concerned Citizen of Cincinatti
Some or all of the answer to Nibcrom's freezing up will be answered soon. Stay tuned to Nibcrom Lives for the answer.
5.
Will the inclusion of Yoda in the Xbox 360 version of Soul Calibur IV FINALLY convince Nils to get a 360?
- The wireball's masseuse
As far as games convincing Nils to buy an Xbox 360, the most likely candidate would be Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, assuming of course that the Wii and/or DS versions of the game are not as good as the Xbox 360 version, although it has been confirmed that the Wii version will use the Wii Remote as a lightsaber.
The second most likely game to convince Nils to buy an Xbox 360 would be Resident Evil 5, which at this time is only being released on the Xbox 360 and the Playstation 3.
6.
Could it be symbolic King? Could it really be symbolic King? Could it be symbolic King? Could it really be symbolic King? Could it be symbolic King? Could it truly be symbolic King? Could it be symbolic King? Could it really be symbolic King?
- Michael Cole
Yes, Michael Cole, it is symbolic. And stop calling me King.
7.
OK. Tell me if you like this idea for a movie. You take a black and white dog, put a Spartan helmet and a red cape on it, give it rabies, and have it attack someone. Repeat these steps several times, and you get what I call 301 Dalmatians. You like?
- Former Atlanta Falcon
Get Pongo to play the king of the Spartans, and Perdita to play the queen, Cruella de Vil to play the role of Xerxes, and you have yourself a winner.
8.
If the marriage between man and number became legal in the United States, would John Febel get married to the number pi (3.14 for short) or nine factorial (aka 9! or 362,880)?
- The number pi
John would marry nine factorial, simply on the basis that pi is so pedestrian. Try not to take this rejection so personally, pi. After all, people will be able to get married to other things like letters of the alphabet many decades before they can get married to numbers.
9.
Since you do not have neither skin nor clothes, do you have any concept of naked?
Also, will Jamie Spears' premarital pregnancy become a fad for all the teeny boppers in America?
Lastly, if you had facial hair, would sort of look would you have?
- Your secret admirer
I understand the concept of being naked, but I have no shame.
Teen pregnancy is nothing new, and Jamie Spears is certainly not a trendsetter for the movement.
If I had facial hair, I would like to have a full beard with large mutton chop sideburns.
10.
Should the story of Columbus be replaced by the story of Rambo in history books?
- Small Child
No one can refute that Rambo is a more entertaining person than Columbus, but not even Rambo could make the history of the human race interesting.
11.
When there is a war between Ninjas, Pirates, Robots, Vikings, and Country Music Singers in the year 2028, which side would you choose given that "life" or spiral notebook wires depended on it?
If you are unfamiliar with the famous prediction concerning the war of 2028, see the following website:
"The Ultimate Source of Predictions for 2028"
- Team Zombie
While I am sure Nils would choose Vikings, I would side with the robots. Non-sentient robots do not feel pain or fear, making them ideal for war conditions. The Country Music Singers would be the first to go. Their large hats make them easy targets.
12.
am i stupid
- Nate
Yes, I am afraid you are.
13.
Lemme ask you this: do you think those Star Wars geeks are suckers? They keep re-buying the same crap in different editions over and over! That Lucas what's his face has them right where he wants them!
So long suckers!
- Jablonski
I just so happen to know one of these suckers. Let's take a look at just part of Nils' Star Wars action figure collection:
5 Darth Mauls, 9 Luke Skywalkers (that's only counting figures in the farmboy outfit), 11 C-3POs, 15 Darth Vaders & 19 R2-D2s. Will Star Wars fans purchase an action figure if it's even just slightly different from one they already have several of? Yes.
Besides the repaints, repacks and resculpts of already existing action figures, there have been figures based on characters from deleted scenes from the movies, concept art and even the novels, which don't have pictures besides the cover. Star Wars fans have proven time and time again that they will purchase just about anything if the Star Wars logo is on it.
14.
Just what exactly are "delusions of grandeur"?
- R2-D2
When someone has delusions of grandeur, they believe that they are better than they really are. But really, R2-D2, who is better than you?
The End. Nils has finally gotten around to typing all of my answers, which means I'm all caught up with no questions to answer. So send in the questions that you need answered.
Disclaimer: Although the Inanimate Ball of Wire is very wise, he is an inanimate object and therefore cannot be held responsible for any information given in this or any of it's columns. Assembly required. Get your parents permission before using any advice or data from Ask the Wire Ball. Collect them all. Each sold separately. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited.