Lord of the Rings Using Authentic Weapons
April 6, 2003

Put down that GameCube controller, John. It's time to play...

Inspired by playing Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers on Gamecube, John Febel and Nils Guldberg set out to create weapons that were true to the movie and fun to play with. The following is a series of photographs and captions designed to give an inside look at these movie props.

First up is The Flimsy Sword of Ommonsuer. This weapon was constructed by John and modified by Nils.

John was told to look "sassy" for the camera, and he certainly pulled it off.

With cunning speed and skill, John slays the neon-green dragon.

Here are the deadly elven blades.

Nils rides his trusty steed in preparation for battle.

Of course, no self-respecting elf is ever found without his bow and arrows.

John can hit targets with amazing accuracy even from far distances.

This is some sort of crappy orc hammer.

John, there were no tyrannosaurus rexes in Lord of the Rings.

This is a dwarf axe.

Dwarf axes are good for removing the genitals of your enemies.

Always close the bathroom door.

Or use less conventional methods, and poop behind a brown chair.

Here's Nils pretending he is a dwarf. Isn't that cute?

Of course, after a long day of mining, a dwarf will want to take a shower...

Just be sure not to follow him in there, because he'll get really angry!

Don't like showers? Take a bath!

Feel free to make these weapons yourself using construx or any other materials you wish, but be warned that although they are props, they can still cause injuries. And don't bug your mom or aunt to play with you. She does not like you and will not play Lord of the Rings using Authentic Weapons.

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